The Invisibility Apron

Harry Potter's invisibility cloak has nothing on my dining hall apron. When I put it on before each shift, I render myself invisible. Laugh if you must, but it is the complete truth. Placing the black apron over one's head allows the wearer to be unseen by all dining hall patrons and students. And, it is my theory that only those in aprons can see others also wearing aprons.

I present this theory in response to the number of students who run into me, reach in front of my body and face as well as push me, shove me, and completely ignore my presence while I am at work. I am 5'10" and therefore I feel that it is pretty difficult to miss me. Because of this, there must be an outside factor which encourages students to run me down in the dining hall and I am placing full blame on the apron.

My favorite student is the apologizer. These students apologize with a sad and lazy SOOORRRYYY as they continue to push you aside or reach in front of you as they go for the serving dish of pasta as I clean the mess in their wake. You cannot be truly "sorry" if you continue to do the annoying and obviously rude action while you are in the process of apologizing for it. "How sorry are you?" is my normal response. If I didn't know better, which some days I don't, I would think that my fellow students were trying to kill me as they push on my legs and lower body in order to get a drink or a cup as I stand on the step stool to refill the ice machine.

My own "friends" tend to ignore me while I am at work and am wearing the magical invisibility apron. Maybe it is easier for them to not approach me than to explain to their other friends how they know a dining hall employee. Either way, these friends kind of suck.

Dining Hall patrons must think that at night tiny cleaning gnomes come out and vacuum the dining hall and clean off the food spills and disaster areas that were created throughout the day. Students never thank the student managers or student workers for anything they do and take them completely for granted. Most of these students have never worked a day in their lives and it gives me great joy to think of them one day doing their bosses "bitch work" and doing the crummy jobs.

My personal message and plea to college students everywhere: I know it is easier to ignore dining hall workers than to acknowledge their presence. I am not asking you to hug them and thank them profusely for cleaning up after your orange juice spill or when you drop your plate on the ground into a thousand pieces and then look around to see if anyone saw before you walk away, but at least be civil. Don't run into us or push us or be utterly rude and obnoxious to us. We are just trying to do our jobs and give you a nice place to eat. So be kind and respect the dining hall workers. Because as magical as the apron is and as wonderful as it makes me look, I know I am not invisible and that you can see me. You just don't want to.